Wondering Why You Didn't Receive a Christmas Card?

Because when I tried to photograph my beautiful children this is the best I got :o)
Hope you all had a WONDERFUL Christmas!!!

Not a Typical December Day

Yes, Christmas tree went up before we carved our pumpkins.  But they are both done :o)

 

 
As you all know, life around here has been a bit crazy for the last few months.  We got a bit behind (okay, more than a bit.)  So today we had "P" day for preschool.  P is for Pumpkin. 

Back in October while the kids were with their wonderful Grandparents in Washinton they got to go pick pumpkins at the pumpkin patch.  Unfortunatly, they brought those beauties home and they have been displayed by the front door uncarved since then.  The kids LOVE these pumpkins and have no concept of time or concern for seasons or holidays so they ask quite frequently when we are going to carve them.  Well, it's December 4th and we finally did it. 

The kids drew faces and I did my best to recreate them in a carvable way on the pumpkin.  Other than Shayne thinking it was "dangerous" and refusing to put his hand in the the slimy opened by not yet cleaned pumpkin, this was a fun and successful activity.  We should have put santa or christmas trees on the pumpkins, but oh well.  If you drive by and wonder who the crazies are with Jack O Lanterns on their porch in December, that's us.  We just got a little behind :o)  I have happy kids now and hopefully one day the pumpkins will rot and we have a good reson to throw them away.  (It didn't go well when I suggested we throw them away because we were putting us Christmas decorations... maybe now that they have been carved they've sreved their purpose and can go... I hope.)

As you can tell by the fact that we are carving pumpkins and having preschool, things are going much better now.  I am still months behind on most things, but gradually catching up.  (I'm so sorry to all of you wonderful people who deserve thank you notes for your help, kindness or gifts in the last 4 months... I promise they will come one day!!!)  We are all healthy (I don't count stuffy noses) now and no one is hospitalized... LIFE IS GOOD.  Really though, things are great.  We feel blessed and watched over and are happy to know that we can do hard things.

In other news, Kevin started working 4 hours/week giving immunizations at a pharmacy on the weekends, it may not be much but we are so excited for a tiny bit of green on the old budget spreadsheet (it's been a while!).  He is loving the rotation he is currently completing at an independent pharmacy nearby.  The people he works with are great and he is having valuable experiences and really being put to work.  Also, Madi's last day of Preschool was last Friday so we are also happy to have a little more family time, and hopefully a few less meltdowns from the overtired 4 year old. (Now, I claim all the meltdowns from being overtired! :o)

Things are going well!  Thanks for checking in!

On a Lighter Sweeter Note

This baby is sure cute...
 

A Week We Hope Never to Repeat

All right, I've already written this and it is much too long. 

Spoiler alert... here is the short version:
Paige has a cold
Shayne has a double ear infection
Madi has a hacking cough (and probably a sinus infection)
Kristen has a diseased gallbladder and needs a D&C because some placenta stuck around
Kevin has a sinus infection and bronchitis

Wahoo!  Don't you want to hang out with us?
 and surgery is Friday morning for Kristen.

Where to begin?...

This has been a bit of a rough period for our family... almost to the point of comedy.  But I am sincerely grateful now that I have been given the gift of optimism.

We begged to get ourselves out of the NICU and soon after that we all got sick... surprise :o)

The day we went home I went to the ER dying of a gallbladder attack but the stone passed or moved or whatever happens with those pesky things so I went home after wasting several hours there.

Then life settled for a few days.  We played with Grandma, life was perfect.  Then she went home.  That's when the terror began :o)

The colds started which is no big deal, everyone gets colds.  But then colds turned to sinus infections and ear infections and Kevin even has bronchitis. 

Saturday I had another rotten gallbladder attack but I didn't want to go to the hospital just to be sent home again so I fought through it at home for as long as I could but gave in as it peaked again after 6 hours.  I went into the ER again, this time the Doctor did an ultrasound and found a fat inflamed gallbladder full of stones.  The lab results also showed high billirubin levels (jaundice) and all the other things that indicate that there was stone blocking my bile duct.  But once again, the stone moved and pain stopped.  Because there wasn't immediate pain, they once again sent me home and told me to schedule surgery to have my gallbladder removed in the near future... oh, and come back if the pain starts again. 

Within a few hours it was back.  It wasn't as intense but the pain was increasing and now it was late at night so I didn't want Kevin to have to load the whole crew and take me.  I wanted to get into the ER before it got too bad to drive but when I knew it was going to hang around, I was tired of going in and the pain leaving.  The pain was bad enough I couldn't sleep but not so bad I was sure it wasn't just going to leave again.  I tinkered around the house for a while then drove to the hospital.  Surprise! I got there and the pain was less.  I hung out and tried to sleep in the car for a bit to see if it was real or not.  Eventually I checked in (by now it was Sunday morning) and the pain was pretty bad.  They decided to admit me for an ERCP where they put me under and sent a scope down my throat into my small intestine to find the bile duct and hopefully remove the stone.  Well, surprise surprise the stone was gone so now I just got to stay in the hospital for a day of monitoring.  But on the bright side a surgeon came to visit me during my stay and we got the surgery scheduled for Friday.

Kevin is my hero.  He had the kids and everyone survived.  In fact, everyone was even bathed and happy.  His new preceptor was also kind and let him come in late Monday as we waited for me to be discharged.  I got home just in time to scoop the kids up and go see Paige's surgeon.  It was a crazy day, but at least everything checked out well at the surgeons and Paige was up to a whopping 6 pounds.  That was the YAY of the day!

I wish that was the end of the story... this post is getting much to long, and so was our week.

Well, Tuesday I went in for my postpartum checkup (and the plot thickens)... turns out I need a D&C too.  My surgeon said it was simple and it could be combined with the cholecystectomy the problem was that he could only do it at the downtown hospital and I was scheduled at the one closer to us.  Well thank goodness for an amazing doctor who treated me like his own daughter and immediately got on the phone to find another surgeon and a time when they could both do the surgery.  There is a lot more to be said about that, but truly I am grateful for him and the surgeon that will be doing the gallbladder surgery.  The Lord watches over us and they found a time and the one slot that was open for surgery Friday.

This post is way too long, so I won't go into any more detail, but I just want to record here how grateful I am that we don't live somewhere rural, that I have an amazing husband that can handle a 4 year old, 2 year old and new baby (even through the night), a ward that is VERY on top of our needs and doctors that are really fantastic.  The situation may be less than ideal, but truly God is watching over our family.  That may sound strange, but with all the details and from my perspective I really do feel blessed and protected. 

Now I need to head to bed and try to rest before surgery in the morning. Oh, one more thing...

Don't feel like you need to say the right thing now, we really are okay.  Rough patch, but this experience has been empowering for our family and really brought Kevin and I closer than ever.  I'm grateful for the priesthood, an amazing husband and a Creator who knows my needs, my mind, my family and even my body.  No need to get too personal here, just wanted you all to know we are alive and this is why I haven't been returning phone calls :o)  Chaos will be under control soon... maybe :o)

Thanks for enduring the length of this post.  That just saved me a lot of time explaining it to everyone individually on the phone!

Wonderful Day!!!

Paige was released from the hospital this afternoon and we couldn't be happier!

To celebrate our sweet pumpkin coming home we had a pumpkin pie party.

There is more to say, but not tonight.  Thank you for all who have been praying for our family!  We have needed it and we have seen those prayers answered.  We love you!

1 Month

Paige turned one month old yesterday and of course she is as sweet as ever.  Not much has changed since the last post, but I couldn't skip the month post.  We're still just waiting for her to prove she can gain weight consistently so that we can go home.  This last week she had a poor start and lost weight from Saturday to Tuesday, then gained Wednesday, lost Thursday, gained Friday.  She is getting "fortified" breastmilk which just increases the calories in the breastmilk she has from bottles.  We started that on Tuesday and are increasing the calories even more today so hopefully we can see some consistency.  (For those who are interested, average breastmilk is 20 calories per ounce, we upped her to a 22 cal Neosure and today is a 24 calorie.)  Her system is just not quite mature enough yet to use her calories to grow, instead she uses them to keep warm, digest, grunt, hiccup and be cute.  Hopefully soon she'll be willing to eat more so she gets more calories naturally, and her system will be a little more efficient at digesting so she can just nurse and doesn't need the extras... but until then we are just trying to beef her up so we can go grow at home.  Overall she is doing great.  This is just a little waiting game we get to play to help us learn patience.  We love this girl.  We're beyond ready to be at home, but we are so grateful for the tender moments we have shared here.  The big kids (and their amazing Grandma) come back from Washington today and hopefully a visit from the kids to the hospital will convince Paige that she really wants to be home. We're crossing our fingers and saying our prayers.  And don't worry, we'll keep you posted when we head home... That will be a postworthy day!  Thank you for thinking of us and praying for Paige and our family... and for checking in through the blog.  

Almost 4 weeks

Miss Paige will be 4 weeks old tomorrow and here's the scoop.

Saturday Paige got to start nursing and also had her PICC line (like an IV) removed.  She is no longer on any medication or supplemental fluids. WooHoo!!

The only thing that stands between Paige and going home at this point is weight gain.  She has been teetering around the same weight or losing a little in the last few days and if she doesn't start gaining they will put the NG tube in her nose again to get more calories to her tummy.  Her current problem is that she is burning more calories than she is consuming so she needs to increase her efficiency and intake.  She's as cute as ever and we just can't wait to get her home so if you need a purpose for prayer you can keep praying for this sweet miracle.  It's such a joy to be with her and I feel so blessed that I have had so much time alone to snuggle Paige in the NICU but I miss my kids and I miss being home.  I'm grateful for competent care and a safe place for Paige to learn to thrive but I also miss home and family.  Her recovery has been amazing and much faster than anticipated by me or any medical professional and as a family we are tremendously grateful.  We are so grateful for her health and growth and speedy recovery... now we're just hoping her appetite and efficiency will improve. We're so proud of Paige and what a trooper she is!

3 Weeks

 Paige is 3 weeks old today and boy has she grown, changed, and done some amazing work! 

I am so behind so here is the update timeline... (mostly for my record)

Fri Sept 28 - X ray of belly shows she isn't quite ready for "food"

Mon Oct 1 - Re X ray of belly, still not quite ready

     (we're looking for air bubbles through the entire coarse of intestines)

W Oct 3 - Re re x ray of belly shows enough air that Dr decides to start Paige on 15 mls (1/2 ounce) of 

      Pedialyte every 3 hours to see if her tummy can process it - with the intent to move to half Pedialyte, half 

      breastmilk Friday

Th Oct 4 - Tummy is bloated so she continues on Pedialyte with no milk

F Oct 5 - Tummy looks better so she gets the go ahead for half and half (still 15 mls)- does great all day

Sat Oct 6 - Gets the go ahead for full strength breastmilk- does well most the day but then has a choking 

       incident so she gets demoted to half and half again

Sun Oct 7 - Half and half - does great

Mon Oct 8 - Full strength breastmilk and because she's been doing so well with her previous feeds and 

       taking over 95% by mouth they remove the NG tube!!

Tues Oct 9 - She tolerates so well they up her feeding to 20 mls of milk every 3 hours

Wed Oct 10 - Up to 25 mls

Our goal is 45 mls so she is making amazing progress.  There are still hurdles, but she is doing really, really well.  We are so proud of her and truly recognize her recovery as a miracle in our lives.

We love her!!!

Open Crib for Paige

Friday, Peanut weighed 4 pounds exactly so she got the bed upgrade.

We played a little dress up because she is so much more accessible.

We enjoyed some sister time today and Madi even got to help with Paige's bath.  She is such a sweet, loving sister and wants to help with everything.  Today she said, "I think I better watch so I know how to do it when I have my own babies."  She's mother hearted and will be an amazing mother in MANY, many years.

 

One Week Old

It is past midnight as I write this so she is officially a week and one day, but this is the 1 week old report from Wednesday...

Today Paige graduated from the repogle tube in her mouth to a smaller, less intrusive NG tube in her nose.  Her sweet nurse knew I would want pictures from the moments between tubes when her face was clean and tubeless so she waited for me to get there.  Here's cute Paige's face... all of it, finally revealed :o) 

Her new tube marks good progress, so I can be happy about it.  The new tube is in preparation for (hopefully) getting her first tiny feeds.  In the coming days she will get pedialyte through her NG tube to see how her body responds.  If she can tolerate it they will move to half breastmilk/half pedialyte and then eventually breastmilk.  Feeding is a huge deal so we are really excited to see how she does and we are hoping she can put on a few ounces with the "feeding" so that she can graduate out of an isolette and into a bassinet.  She has to get back to 4 pounds before she can do that and she is currently about 3 lbs 13oz.  I can't wait to stare at her directly instead of through the plastic isolette... and have a few more pictures turn out because they won't be through the plastic.  Okay, silly reasons, but it also is just because it means progress.  Temperature regulation and moving to a bassinet are more tiny steps towards coming home.  I just can't wait to get this sweet bundle all healthy and HOME.  I miss her every minute I am away.

Today was such a sweet day.  I loved seeing her face and helping clean her little mouth and cheeks.  She's just so precious, I can't get enough of her.  She had her 2 longest alert periods today and all through the tube switching and the time I held her afterward she was alert and looking around.  Then she drifted into the sweetest light sleep and kept having those dreamy little baby smiles.  I don't care if they are involuntary... those smiles melt my heart.  She is so much cuter than pictures capture and I just love staring into her eyes or watching her sleep.  This time is so special and while I do wish she were healthy and home, I also recognize how precious this time is that I get to enjoy this infant in the quiet solitude of the NICU.  I just feel blessed.  No other words describe it.

Amazing Day!

 My heart is so full today! This morning we got the news that the surgeon had visited Paige in the night and decided she was ready to be taken off the ventilator in the morning.  So we all headed to the hospital in the morning to see our sweet girl breathe on her own once again.  She handled the transition so well that the nurse gave us permission to hold her so we got to have her in our arms for the first time.  There is something so precious and indescribable about holding an infant for the first time.
 

 

We are so in love with this girl! Its hard to be at home without her, but it is also hard to be at the hospital without Madi and Shayne so we will keep working on finding a healthy balance.  Its amazing how this precious little bundle can fuel your soul though.  It is quiet and peaceful in the NICU and always hard to leave but I walk out energized and invigorated (well, sometimes physically exhausted but my soul is charged.)  I'm so grateful everyday when I am there and my heart feels like it is overflowing all the way home.  We truly have been so blessed.

Paige is really exceeding expectations.  Babies with gastroschisis have their list of goals and the order they will happen, but the timeline is always up to the baby.  Paige is amazing everyone as she has already started working down her checklist.  Today she checked off the ventilator! Wahoo! And the other huge one... She pooped!  Most people don't celebrate that, but for a baby with gastro, that is HUGE.  That means that her bowel is (at least partially) functioning.  This is really early for her to already have a bowel movement, so we aren't out of the woods for bowel function, but that is really encouraging.  It often takes 3 weeks for a first bowel movement, so this really is incredible.  Again, we just feel so blessed.  I see the Lord's hand in orchestrating the time of her arrival and I think her coming at 33 weeks instead of the previously planned 36 or 35 has made a huge difference.  Heavenly Father knew the exact window for her when she would be developmentally mature enough, but before damage began to occur on her bowel.  There were many adhesions on her bowel but they were just getting tight, not quite constricting yet.  The timing was inspired and I am so grateful to have had doctors I could trust and have great confidence in.  Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. 

Thanks for following our story and continuing to think of us.  Hopefully we can keep the good news coming :o)

Introducing...

Introducing...

Paige 
 Elizabeth
Miller



Born Wednesday, September 19th, 12:14pm
4 pounds 2 ounces and 16 inches long

She has a journey to travel before she will be in full health,
but we are confident that with the enthusiastic help of Doctor Shayne

 

  and the tender, loving care of Madison

(Oh, and some more love from these guys)

she will be home with us when she is ready.  She is truly and angel and bringing even greater sweetness, tenderness and love into our family. We love her dearly and feel so blessed to have her in our lives.
 

She is here, she is safe, and I need sleep

Our sweet baby arrived at 12:14 today weighing 4 pounds 2 ounces.  She soon had surgery and did really well.  The doctor was able to get all the bowel in with a primary closure (meaning no silo and less risk for infection).  We feel so blessed and grateful. 

The day has been exhausting, but we have been filled with peace and calmness through what could have been tremendously stressful.  We are amazed at how well she is handling everything and we know she will continue to thrive and improve her condition.  She has a long way to go but she is doing great.  There is no official timeline for milestones with a baby with gastroschisis, so we kind of just work in a one goal at a time.  Already she is improving her blood sugar regulation and temperature regulation.  Our next major goal will be for her to be able to breathe independently and not need the ventilator.  After she was born she was breathing 95 -100% on her own which is incredible. As expected, they intubate for surgery and will remain intubated due to pressure on her diaphram from the new addition to her abdomen and also the sedation.  Hopefully within the next few days she will get back to breathing on her own at which time we will get to hold her for the first time.  The anticipation of that moment is very tender to me now.

I really need to get to bed, but I thought I would fill everyone in.  Thank you again and again for your thoughts and prayers.  We know He hears! 

Here we go...

All right, there are at least 7 of you who read this, so these updates are for you...

Well, it is after midnight, so today is the day.  I'll be in the hospital in less than 6 hours where they will get me all hooked up to my IV and start that lovely Pitocin flowin through my veins.  I think anxious would be the appropriate word.  I am excited, but there is certainly some anxiety too (hence I am awake again).

It seems I have still failed to fill some people in on the situation so here is the I-need-to-get-back-to-bed-summary and you can fill in the holes with your own research or just wait for updates.  (Please don't pay any attention to my grammar, I should be sleeping and so this is a mind spill not a refined document.)

At my 18 week ultrasound the doctor found that our sweet baby has a condition called gastroschisis.  That means that in her development something went wrong with the formation of her abdominal wall and there is a defect site where it is not closed and some of her bowel is outside of her body.  We are fortunate in that it is only small intestine out, but it seems that the quantity is increasing.  To prevent damage to the bowel (resulting in loss of bowel and long term complications) I will be induced at 33 weeks.  This little lady will have her first surgery within a couple of hours of birth and we will learn a lot more about the condition of her intestines after birth and that first surgery.  Many babies have only that first surgery, but we are choosing to be prepared for more because I prefer pleasant surprises.  She will head straight to the NICU after birth and then to surgery but hopefully we'll get a glimpse of her sweet face somewhere in the chaos before surgery...if not, we will have MANY hours in the NICU to come with ample opportunity to stare helplessly as we hope she progresses, grows and knows we love her.  There is no timeframe for how long she will be in the NICU (so stop asking :o) it could be weeks or months and only time and progress will tell.  We'll keep you posted with stats and hopefully you won't get sick of this one topic blog that will exist for a while. 

So tomorrow is a big day.  We are so grateful for prayer and knowing that we have a loving Heavenly Father who cares for us and our baby.  We know she is in His hands and that that is the safest place to be.  Thank you for all the prayers you have and will yet say in our behalf, we truly feel the power and peace that comes from those prayers and your great faith. 

Baby Updates

I am wondering if I should post baby updates here or on Facebook.  I don't know if anyone reads this anymore so I don't want to waste time putting it here if FB would be more efficient.  Cast your vote... if you read this.

Thanks!

Labor Day Weekend

Our weekend started perfectly with a fun although brief visit from our friends the Ogdens.  Jenn was one of my BYU roommates, and luckily still a friend despite an almost complete lack of keeping in touch.  I'm so lucky to have some of those kind of friends!  Here is her cute Cade... if it is any indication of how long its been since we were together, he couldn't even roll over last time I saw them :o)  Now there is another cute kid and I have 1 more and 1 almost here.  Wow.  Time flies!

Saturday morning we joined what appears to be every other resident of the city of Boise and headed to Ann Morrison park for the Annual Spirit of Boise Hot Air Balloon Celebration.  It would seem I am teasing Boise because everyone goes, but it is legitimately cool.  Hot air balloons are just amusing.  We didn't make it in time for the morning take off, but we enjoyed seeing them in the distance and also the couple that were still at the park for show.

We also played at the park while there...

We headed back to the park early for good seats on the lawn for the evening "Glow".  Our pictures are all pretty terrible (can't find my real camera so I was using a 9+ year old one-- not that they would have been any better with the real camera and my skills :o)  Here we are early in the evening just after Mickey was inflated... the kids really liked him, this is just the enthusuastic look you get when you tell them to look away from the the thing that is so cool... funny how we think they'll still smile when it is behind them.

Shayne is learning/practicing his photo bombing skills young.  I didn't even see he jumped into the picture until I downloaded the pictures :o)

Here's the glow... bad representation, but it really was beautiful.

We had a great time.  Had a picnic, play football and Uno on the lawn and got to see amazing Hot Air Balloons.  Gotta admit... Boise is a pretty all right place :o)  Any place would be with the amazing fun family I have, but Boise is definately near the top of the list.

We're having fun.  I think that was the point of this post.  Oh, I guess I left out the rest of the weekend.  We had the flu.  fun.  Maybe not.  But overall, the weekend review is positive. 

And thank you to every one who joined us in fasting on Sunday.  We feel your love and support and faith.  We are so thankful to have such a wonderful circle of friends we can call on.  We love you.

Fasting this Sunday

I don't know if any of you are blog followers and not facebook friends, but I thought I would extend the same invitation here as I did to facebook friends:

Dear Friends and Family,

On Sunday September 2 my family will be fasting for the health and well being of our growing baby girl. To us, fasting is an opportunity to show our faith and ask for special blessings that we are in need of. By abstaining from food we show the Lord that our spiritual desires are stronger than our physical desire for food. We welcome anyone who would like to join us to do so, or to join us with your positive thoughts and prayers that day. Our baby is in an important period of development right now and also can use extra protection so we know she would benefit from the combined faith of many.

When we fast, we start with a prayer expressing our desires and the needs that we have and ask for the Lord's protection or guidance. We then abstain from food and water (my fast will be modified due to pregnancy) for the desired period of time (we have chosen breakfast and lunch, you are welcome to do it your own way). During that time we do our best to focus on more spiritual and faith promoting things and reflect on the things we have asked for. At the conclusion of our fast we end with a prayer.

Thank you to all of you who already have us in your thoughts and prayers. We feel sustained and our faith is strong. Our baby is doing well and we pray that will continue and no further complications will arise. She'll be here within four weeks so we hope these will be weeks of great lung development and intestine safety so that she is ready to thrive independently. Thank you so much for your concern, love and support.

Love, the Miller family

 

As a side note, I have so many fun things to post about but can't find my camera... I promise a post soon!

California Part 3

Come back for part 2, it is waiting for pictures on the other computer.

Part 3 is Beach Day!
I'm tired of writing so I'll let pictures speak for themselves.


 

 

 

 

 

 

After all that sand and salty water we had to rinse off in the pool at Uncle Tom and Aunt Christina's house.  Madi went off the diving board for the first time... not at anyone else's suggestion, she just hopped up and said "Watch."  Way to go Madi!  Extra fun about this tid bit is that this is the same pool where I went off the diving board for the first time. Uncle Tommy and Aunt Christina live in the house where my mom and her family grew up... this was a nostalgic return to Grandma's house for me.

And did you catch the sneaky beach picture I threw in there.  The highly unattractive side shot of me?  Yeah, that's me and my little belly I have been meaning to announce.  I'm so excited to tell everyone that we are expecting another baby girl!  I am 20 weeks now and due November 3rd.  We're all really excited and Madi especially couldn't be happier.  We hope she is just like her wonderful sister, with a good healthy mix of her entertaining and highly lovable brother.  We can't wait to welcome her to the family!  (And sorry for the slow announcement.)

California Part 1

Our kids love a lot of things, but near the top of their shared list is dolphins and penguins.  So guess what we did... We went to Sea World!!! Okay, it was as much for me as for anyone, but we all LOVED it!   

We had sooooo much fun.  The kids loved trying to touch the dolphins at the "Interaction" pool and we were amazed as one dolphin came right in front of us and made his dolphin noises, he was close enough to touch but we couldn't touch him because you aren't supposed to when their mouths are open.  So cool though! 

 

We spent most of the day going from show to show and exhibit to exhibit learning and watching and enjoying and then about an hour before the park closed I realized we hadn't done any of the "amusement park" stuff.  Trust me, we were amused and would have gone home happy and satisfied without any of the rides we did, but it was a perfect way to cap off an amazing day.  We laughed and laughed on the kiddie rides and especially got a kick out of the kids on the spinning sea star (tea cups) ride.

 

 

Those genuine smiles are my favorite. It makes all the exhaustion, napless days and late, late nights disappear.  Oh, and it makes 2 years of spending no money on entertainment so very worth it!  You don't have to have fun experiences like this to make you love your family more, but it sure is a fun way to remind yourself how very lucky you are.